Why Headline Readers Are Slovenly Cucks Who Enable Fake News

Credit: Gage Skidmore

If you’re reading this, you’re already on the right track. You have read at least the first 10 or so words of this article, you are supporting the websites and Facebook pages you love,  and your relationship is likely to be relatively safe from a well-endowed bull ready to wreak passionate, sweaty, violent havoc in your partner’s bedsheets.

But you might still be guilty of being a headline whore.

A headline whore is the best term we could come up with for someone who just skims headlines without reading through articles, and often leaves uninformed comments below the articles on Facebook without ever reading them.

God Emperor Trump

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These types of people hurt the flow of information and perpetuate the phony narratives constructed by fake news outlets. Headline whores enable trashy websites like CNN and Buzzfeed by not double-checking information before passing it on or formulating an opinion.

Most headlines are distorted to provoke a mental image stronger than what is contained in the actual substance of the story.

All it takes is a most miniscule effort of clicking shit on a screen and scrolling through an article to educate yourself on whether to take the article seriously or not. It’s even easier if you’re on a mobile device, you just tap a box with your big, fat thumb.

And we know from our internal statistics that almost 80% of you are using your goddamn smartphones to read this. 

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We recently had a situation like this on our articles about net neutrality (this one and this one), where headline whores saw the title and jumped into the comments section screeching autistically about the inaccuracy of the piece, some even boasting, “Lulz I’m not clicking that XD.”

Related: 7 Ways To Stop Being A Degenerate

By contrast, those who actually read the article sent us dozens of private messages praising the articles, with some even reporting that their mind had been changed on the topic.

In summary, if you see a headline that grabs your eye, make sure to actually scroll through it before reacting to it or posting comments.

It’s the responsible thing to do, it helps fight fake news, and you’re much less likely to be a cuckolded degenerate.



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