5 Reasons You Should Stop Making Excuses And Have Kids Right Now

Western Civilization is in decline. European birth rates are at an all time low, and it’s giving our feminized governments the excuse they need to bring in millions of third worlders under the guise of helping refugees when their real goal is to create a new generation of welfare dependent idiots who will vote left from cradle to grave and replace freedom loving Europeans.

Don’t believe us? Look at this fucking map. The populations of Africa, the Middle East, and certain parts of South America are exploding, while North America, Europe, and even Asia are stagnating.

It’s time to get serious about the survival of Western Civilization, find a spouse, and start making like rabbits (though not in the R-Selected way).

1. If You’re Reading This You’re The Last Generation Big Enough To Make A Difference

God Emperor Trump

Our audience is mostly millennials and Gen-Z. If you don’t have kids beyond the replacement level (meaning more than 2 kids, you have to replace yourself and your spouse), the next generation is going to be so small they would have to have a brood of 10 to compete in their own country.

2. Your Ancestors Did The Horizontal Tango In Drought, War, Famine, And A Literal Ice Age

President Trump’s grandparents and father.

What is your excuse? Your ancestors killed a mammoth just so they could rip off its hide and have a warm blanket to screw under. Your grandparents and great grandparents had kids then went off to fight commies and Nazis. Waiting until your career is established is bullshit, it’s time to stop buying cats and start having kids.

3. Right Wingers Are Better Parents Than Leftists

Think about it. Do you want the next generation of children to grow up to be just like their welfare addicted mother and their absentee father? You’re going to get old, and these are the people who are going to be making sure your government runs efficiently, your water doesn’t poison you, and your cheeseburger has pickles. Do you really want to leave this in the hands of the average leftist degenerate?

4. The Trump Family Can’t Do It Alone

Stop A Commie

President Donald Trump has four adult children, Ivanka, Don, Eric, and Tiffany, plus 11-year-old Barron. The four have given him 8 grandchildren so far with another on the way, and Tiffany hasn’t even started yet. This is obviously a very fertile First Family, but they’re not going to do it their own. Get between the sheets and start making adorable father-son videos like Don Jr.

5. Your Retirement Is Pretty Much Secure

If you do a half decent job raising your kids then they’re going to make sure you’re taken care of in your old age. Yes, theoretically your diversified portfolio of investments and the gold you have stashed in your subterranean bunker will be more than enough to cover the cost of your assisted living, but in the event you live longer than your accountant expected you to, it’s good to have kids willing to help mom and dad.

BONUS: You’ll Have The Energy Required To Have Kids

Look at those grandparents in #5. If you put off having kids while you’re young under the misguided belief you can wait until you’re in your 30s or 40s with no consequences, that’s going to be you when your kid is in high school. Do you really want to be that old guy? The one who can’t play catch with his son because he might break a hip? Sad.

Update: We forgot Primarch Barron, mostly because we’re pretty sure he’s a clone of the God Emperor. Thanks, Zenek, for reminding us.

 

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