The Goblin Who Assaulted Alex Jones In Seattle Just Admitted It On Facebook

While Infowars’ Alex Jones live streamed a report while walking down the streets of Seattle, a pudgy, angry, dirty looking man began calling Jones names. When Jones confronted him and asked him to speak into the camera, the goblin-like creature attempted to physically intimidate Jones before dumping his coffee on Jones’s head.

He then promptly ran away.

God Emperor Trump

Rather than doing the smart thing and maintaining his anonymity in the age of the Internet, he promptly went to Facebook and bragged about assaulting a national celebrity.

The alleged attacker’s name is Jake Stratton, and he is exactly as terrible as you might imagine.

While we were writing this article, Stratton finally had the good sense to lock down his Facebook profile, but not before Department of Memes and countless others were able to take relevant screen shots.

Stratton is a low ranking singer and actor who was featured in a 2012 issue of Seattle’s City Arts Online publication.

Stop A Commie

From the article:

“The Indiana native built his following in the mid-’90s as the owner of before-its-time Capitol Hill arcade High Score and frontman for Blöödhag, the world’s only death metal band committed to performing songs about science fiction books. He added to his cache by emceeing the Seattle Semi-Pro Wrestling League as well as the Rat City Roller Girls.”

Frankly this is a shocking development, as literally nobody expected this fat loser to be employed, let alone be talented enough to have people pay to watch him moan into a microphone.

Truly, Stratton is a prime example of Left Coast degeneracy, and exactly what Jones was talking about when he referred to “pot belly goblins” and the “scum” he goes out and faces.

Assuming Seattle has any decency or semblance of law and order left, Stratton will hopefully pay for his crime, because as Jones says, he “got it all on video tape.”



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