9 Things To Say To A Liberal During Intercourse

Yes, this is a  Buzzfeed-tier article, but the prospect is oh so amusing.

Your first thought is naturally going to be “I never want to sleep with a leftist” but for the sake of open-mindedness let’s take this hypothetical journey together. With your bodies entwined in the throes of passion, you can educate a leftist and be sure you have a captive audience. Plus it makes Tinder seem productive.

1. “Damn I Love Being White!”

You can spice this up with profanity and scream it at the top of your lungs or whisper it softly in your lover’s ear, it doesn’t matter. Triggering will ensue. Angry sex is the best sex.

(If you’re not white, you can substitute “I love being a capitalist” and see what kind of reaction you get).

2. “Build The Wall!”

So obvious.

Best screamed during climax.

Related: 7 Ways To Identify A Cuck

3. “Taxation Is Theft”

You should be saying this to leftists when you’re not in bed with them too.

4. “______  Did Nothing Wrong”

Pick a boogeyman that triggers the left and roll with it. We recommend Adolf Trumpler.

5. “Rosie O’ Donnell Is A Fat Pig”

I don’t think this will necessarily help the mood but it could prevent premature climax so that’s a good thing.

6. “Bill Clinton Is A Rapist Infowars Dot Com”

Bonus points for your best Alex Jones impression. Extra bonus points if you (consensually) capture the magic on camera.

GET Merch

7. “Deport Me, Daddy!”

This line obviously only works if you’re the bottom partner in the scenario, so feel free to substitute “I’m gonna deport that ass SO hard!” if you’re on top.

8. “1776 WILL COMMENCE AGAIN!”

Again, do your best AJ.

9. “Make America Great Again”

Saving the best for last, of course. “I voted Trump!” is a worthy substitute if it’s a one-night stand.

And as a bonus, if you happen to be doing the horizontal tango with a member of the alt-right:

BONUS (Alt Right Version): “TRAPS ARE NOT GAY”

Spread the truth. Also can substitute  for “no homo” if your partner has a feminine penis.

 

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