We had to laugh at failed Democrat presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s attempt to slip back into the headlines with her new book deal, especially after her previous title, Hard Choices, was a total flop.
We no see reason for Hillary’s new memoir to sell any better this time around, and here’s why.
1. Even Democrats Want Hillary To Go Away At This Point
Before running her terrible campaign against Donald Trump, Hillary colluded with the DNC to take down the crazy old Jew Bernie Sanders, making permanent enemies with a lot of her potential voter base.
No one is interested in her book because no one wants to see her back in politics.
2. It’s All Going To Be Lies
The new memoir is titled “What Happened”, but given Clinton’s behavior we can be sure that we will never get the real story of “what happened” from her.
Since her massive schlonging in the electoral college, Hillary has blamed her defeat on – among other things – sexism, misogyny, the weather, the FBI, Russia, the debate moderators, racism, and hackers running fake news sites in Macedonia.
No one wants to buy a title that’s just a laundry list of excuses for why she couldn’t beat the supposedly most hated presidential candidate in U.S. history.
3. Hillary Is A Boring Person
I mean, seriously, if you’re browsing Amazon for a gripping page-turner, Hillary Clinton is the last name that would come to mind.
No one but her thinks she is wildly interesting and intellectual.
4. No One Wants To Get Coughed On At A Book Signing
And since Hillary has a propensity to go into spastic hacking fits at any moment, expect people to stay well clear of her at promotional events.
5. Her Last Book Flopped Too
We alluded to this earlier. Crooked Hillary’s “Hard Choices” was a major bust, as Simon & Schuster was unable to recoup the massive signing bonus they gave her to have a book of lies ghostwritten about her heroic exploits.
And her popularity has continued to tank since then.
6. There Are Better Books Out There About Hillary
Titles like “Shattered,” “Unlikeable,” “Guilty As Sin,” “Crisis of Character,” and “The Clinton’s War on Women” are more likely to provide a compelling memoir than Hillary’s deluded scribblings about Russian hackers and the patriarchy.
7. She Deserves To Fail
After many decades of lies, corruption, crime, scandal, and general national embarrassment, karma has finally caught up to the Clintons. Bill’s youthful looks have receded to the point where he looks like a cast member of The Walking Dead, and Hillary has continually failed at everything since her presidential bid in 2008, not to mention her poor health and waning popularity.
Let’s face it: No one gives a damn about Hillary’s new book, and it’s going to flop big league.